Stone Cold Fox by Rachel Koller Croft

Author:Rachel Koller Croft [Koller Croft, Rachel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2023-02-14T00:00:00+00:00

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MOTHER TELLS ME all the time that she’s proud of me. Francis adores me. His friends do, too. It’s easy, isn’t it? It’s so easy to entertain a man, the right type of man, to get what you want. She always wants a full report and I provide it, proud of myself. She’s been taking care of me for so long. It’s time for me to return the favor, and she’s right, it’s quite easy. I wear little outfits at the parties and laugh and fill their drinks. I don’t mind them looking at me. Not really. Men are always looking at me. At least I’m getting something out of it this time.

Francis introduces me to his friends at his parties and expects me to remember their names, so I do. He tells me later those aren’t their real names. It’s just for fun. It’s all pretend. Just a place to blow off steam, an innocent gathering, something most people wouldn’t understand, but I understand, don’t I? Because I’m mature. One of the select few.

Of course, other girls are there, too. Some of them look older than me and act like it, too, but Francis always says I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do and that if anyone tells me differently, I should find him. That hasn’t really happened yet. I don’t mind being grazed by a hand here and there. It’s just a hug, or just a little kiss. Whatever. It’s nothing, just like Mother says. She says that’s just a part of it. Means it’s working, that I’m working.

She’s proud of me.

Some of the other girls are there with their mothers. Some are even with their fathers, but I stay away from them. Something inside tells me to, and when I tell Mother, she agrees with me. Those are the type of men to be avoided. Most of the girls are with nobody and I definitely stay away from them. They like to go far, that’s what Mother says. Alcohol and pills and powders in other rooms. I don’t want any of it and I’m always told I don’t have to, but it still makes my stomach turn. I see what it does to them. It feels like an alarm going off in my head. Francis asks me once if I want a little taste. He doesn’t say of what, but I say no thank you and he shrugs, not bothered. Whatever you want, Fleur. Whatever I want? I feel fine and this is pretty easy, but I still wish I could pretend this is normal. I know that it isn’t. At the house. On the planes. In other places. I’m never alone. I never feel in danger. It’s just a touch. Just a hug. Just a little kiss. Just a massage. Mother is always there, or at least outside the door. Watching. Observing. Never engaging. She says she’s there to protect me so I believe her. Hasn’t she protected me my whole life?

So many men.

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